Dad, quoted

I realized that my dad's a gentleman; he holds the door for me, carries my backpack when we walk around, and walks on the side where there's traffic.

That said, he can sometimes seriously demonstrate that he knows nothing about womankind.  Three examples--

Me: Dad, does my dress match my sweater?

Dad: You're askin me?

Me: Well, I have no one eh-else to ask.  

Dad: Hm, well, you won't look like a boy if that's what you're wondering.

[during his sermon today]

"So one time I took my wife to an Angels game and told her she could ask ten dumb questions about baseball.  Then she asked, 'um, what's an inning?'  And I was like, 'Honeeeey...' then we went home."

[while walking to Times Square tonight]

Me: So this weekend my house is gonna go see tulips and--

Dad: Wait, tulips as in the flower? Because when you say tulips, I'm thinkin' you guys are gonna go see some commemoration of Calvin's five-point TULIP theory, or something. Like a religious shrine."