Things I Appreciate

1-Skyping with my parents

2-When the pedestrian light turns green

3-Reading friends' blogs that deal with food

4-Opening up the packages that contain airplane dinners

5-A wrinkle-free bed

6-La Roux's "In for the Kill"

7-The movie Beaches

8-The movie Precious

9-Being sleepy and having time for a nap

10-When the professor wants to know how the weekend was

11-Extremely chubby toddlers

12-When parents get really into their kids' science projects

13-Symphony orchestras

14-The (1) next to my Inbox and I see that a dear friend wrote

15-Jamón serrano

16-People who do not lose their cool

17-The sound of typing on a desktop computer

18-White dinnerware

19-People knitting scarves

20-How my dad insists that I say hello to my namesake dog whenever I Skype with him

21-Thrift shops

22-Listening to my friends play guitar and sing

23-Facebook

24-Good Internet connection

25-Spontaneous trips to the grocery store

26-Hanes t-shirts

27-Tacos norteños

28-Six word stories

29-Plath

30-The idea of high school and college reunions

31-Taking level-headed risks

32-Not being afraid to express sadness

33-Crunchy peanut butter sandwiches

34-Optimism, but not the thoughtless, "let's sing a Disney song about it" kind

35-The sound of the oboe

36-When someone says or writes something profound without meaning to

37-The combination of eating a banana and an orange at the same time

38-Knowing what people ate for breakfast

39-Postcards that don´t have landmarks on them

40-Salads with fruit and nuts and grains and cheese

and

Cheap prepared salads at the grocery store

41-The Amelie soundtrack; it never gets old

42-Jack Black´s character in the movie School of Rock

43-Energy conservation without the talk, just the walk

44-Christian apologetics

45-The sound of a crumpling paper bag

46-When they have really tasty bread for communion

47-Frozen yogurt with strawberries, papaya, and pineapple

48-Not having a cell phone right now

49-The dreams where someone you love dies, then you realize it´s not true, so you appreciate them extra-much the rest of the day.

50-Different kinds of type fonts other than the ones traditionally found on Microsoft Word

51-Cloth tableclothes

52-The smell of Barnes and Nobles (different from Border´s)

53-Grammarians who aren´t grammar police

54-The idea of paying for all my necessities with coins

55-Time

56-My host family and the long talks we have around the dinner table

57- Lace

58-The fight for human rights and against child sex slavery

59-Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan

60-How cute of an idea a cupcake is. A cup of cake. A cakecup. Would you like a cup of cake?

61- Good intellectual discussions about ethics

62- Documentaries about people who were sad/lived triste lives. When Michael Jackson died last summer, I saw two and a half documentaries about his life.

63-Documentaries about food

64-Youtube videos on how to cook Korean food; They're hilarious unintentionally.

65-Baskets with flowers in them

66-Churros

67-Epistolary relationships

68-Avant garde photography

69-Sweatpants

70-Sufjan Stevens and his goal of writing music for every state. It sounds so cheesy right? But then the music is beautiful so it really doesn't matter.

71-How easily I fall asleep when I leave one foot out of the covers. Do you know what I mean?

72-The way Turkish Delight looks in the old version of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe movie. It looks like powdered dduk.

73-How Pastor IJ always uses the word "winsome"

74-Chopin and Debussy

75-Communitychannel

76-The way jam, toast, & tea are described in Roald Dahl's Matilda

77-Blog posts that are written in a completely different style than the way I write

78-Warm sunny light and big windows

79-Museums that are not glossy and perfect

80-People who don't care what others think. But this one is tricky and rare because I frequently come across people who claim to have this trait, yet they go on and on explaining themselves, justifying why they are who they are. It gets kind of confusing. You would think people with this trait would talk less because there is nothing to explain really.

81-Postmodern literature

82-My grandmother's hand-written cards in Korean that I can barely even read, but she still writes anyway

83-Lazy, eating potato chips, and drinking a caffeine-free Coke kind of evenings.

84-Bread, pasta, and other carbs

85-The candy apple scent at Bath and Body Works

86-When there's plenty of time to get lost in a city that's full of windy streets

87-This random Xanga post that I came across. I like the way he thinks.

88-This is the year that many of my good friends were born. Birthday cake. Wedding cake, too.

89-When people don't have time for Facebook because they're too busy seeing real faces.

90-How God uses secular writers to reveal truth

91-Whenever guys wear white t-shirts under their collared or polo shirts; I think it looks handsome.

92-Charlie bit my finger

93-When you don't think less of yourself

94-When you think of yourself less

95-Library cards

96-Hymns

97-It took me around four days to come up with this list. I guess I thought it might be handy to keep such an inventory because what if I get amnesia? doopdeedoo.

98-theenglishdept.com [it's not nerdy, I promise]

99-I appreciate the fact that I know people that I can't simply put on a a list by name because they're worth far more than just appreciation.

100-Minty toothpaste

Clarification

My mom's not really fifty-seven. I was just keeeding, haha.

Balloons

I've been Skyping with my parents while they eat breakfast and right before I eat dinner because of the 8-hour time difference. They live such a content life, even with all the ups and downs, and it's funny that I realize it most profoundly when I'm a couple thousand miles away; I see it most clearly through the grainy screen of a webcam. Anyways, yesterday was my mom's 57th birthday, give or take. So from my perspective, I have been raised with tag-team parenting because my mom and dad have the same ideals, but demonstrate them in different ways. It's complicated, kinda, but it works. My mom's forte? Listening. I can spend hours on her bed just chitter-chattering about all my woes and predicaments and thoughts and questions and observations. Sometimes she'll reply with some advice, or sometimes she'll keep on listening. What makes a great listener is that they might know the answer to a solution, but they sometimes refrain from revealing it because it's not just about being told what to do; it's about doing it based on your own conclusion and hence your own conviction. Or sometimes there is no right thing to say. Then why say anything at all? And that's when my mom will nod or let me think in silence. I rarely received lectures while growing up because my parents, whether they did it intentionally or not, taught by example. They live their faith, so that when they talk about it, it all really does make sense. So my conclusion on what makes a good listener? It's really not about being the band-aid, making the problem go away. And sometimes it's not really about finding a Bible verse that seems "perfectly tailored" for the situation or a magical combination of words. I think a lot of it has to do with one's presence. Just being there with love and encouragement, sometimes through words and other times unspoken.

So yesterday was my mom's birthday, and I'm sure she'd be tickled to know that I included all that juicy information about her age etc. She's a pretty cool person: listens to Ingrid Michaelson (but I still need to convince her that Vampire Weekend is equally great), reads biographies, studies Greek, loves old movies, and runs religiously. But I definitely inherited the dork gene from her. Case in point: there are nights when we just plop ourselves on the futon and watch cheesy Youtube videos (I've seriously heard her LOL while watching communitychannel, but don't tell her I told you that, hehe) or play Scrabble and gamble off the next day's dishes or the tab for the next dessert outing. So if I ever have a gambling problemo, you'll know why.

iAwkward

You know what's awkward? Cyber etiquette.
Let's say you write an e-mail or post on someone's FB wall, and you wait for a reply.
Generally, although I'm no anthropology or sociology or linguistics expert, I assume that in this hypothetical yet probable instance, you would expect a reply the next time the person (let's call her Bubbles) gets online, right? So based on this assumption, this situation protrudes of awkwardness when you observe that Bubbles is obviously online (her Gchat circle is colored green, she's commenting on pictures and writing on other people's walls), yet there is no "(1)" next to your Inbox, and the only little red notification sprouts from some random person commenting on a photo that you commented on six days ago. Oof.

Thus you begin to wonder,
Does Bubbles not like me?
Did Bubbles get offended by what I wrote?
Does Bubbles like talking to this person more than me?
Maybe she is thinking extra hard and preparing a very eloquent reply. Yup, that's probably it.

You wonder and wonder. And a reply comes five Internet years later (which is really around four days, but hey, we are an impatient bunch of generation y-ers.)

Enter silent angst and gloomy bitterness towards Bubbles, who you mentally take off your "write cheery FB posts on their wall when you're bored" list.
Oh, Internet, must Mrs. Manners come out of her grave and write about you, too?

So I present this little (very un-theological and un-serious...wait, what about your previous post?) quandary because in the coming months, I might be said Bubbles. The thought of it makes me queasy because I have this lovely picture in my head of me being a perfect keep-in-toucher, replying promptly with meaty e-mails and brilliant epithets to everyone immediately. Emphasis on picture, not photo.

So you think, "Oh, is she gonna use the whole 'studying abroad; there won't be much internet' reason to excuse herself from complying to the unspoken manners of cyber communication?"

You read my mind. I am speechless.

Riot Gear [Regina Spektor]

Perfect

I think my blog is too perfect.
Each post ends with a little neat twisty, like a Tootsie roll.
There's always a conclusion, some thought that's retrieved from some event or story or something.
What I did today. My favorite things. Bubbles and Christmas wrapping paper. Fantastic, lovely, wonder-full. (Upon perusing some old notes and e-mails, I'm sure these used to be my favorite adjectives.)

And yup, I've been quite honest on these posts. There's a part of me that clings to that champagne glass of milk that's half full. And that part is probably huger than any other part.

But I have questions. Opinions and topics that aren't quite as pretty or easy to write about. And I have refrained from mentioning these things on my blog because they threaten my perfectionistic desires: I want to have complete little packages of thoughts that are harmless and wince-proof. That make people smile and think what a beautiful day it is in the neighborhood. Plus, I'm lazy and it's way easier to write about light things, decaf, heavy on the cream and sugar.

But on a night like tonight, after coming out of an intense theological discussion with my dad, my mind's about to explode. There is so much about my faith in Jesus Christ that I do not understand. The tenets of Christianity, the accuracy of Scripture, the intellectual trends that challenge a fundamentalism that appears defenseless--these things can't just be explained in a six-word response Hemingway-style. Acting on faith, I'm told, is a simple one. But faith itself is not simple. Otherwise, why did Martin Luther feel the need to write ninety-five theses? And it was not a rose that John Calvin plucked, but a TULIP.

So I guess this might be an introduction to an additional genre of posts. Half-thoughts and after-thoughts. They might be uncomfortably written or read, but it's time for me not to care and just think and write think and write. I don't think I have a whole ton of readers, but there are at least a handful. Regardless, I always write with the feeling that no one's really gonna read my posts. So I (you can say this is cheesy, but make it Brie because it's so tasty!) subconsciously write to C.S. Lewis or my dad or one of the pen-pals I in reality lost in touch with years ago.

Oof, I just remembered I'm going abroad in two days so maybe I won't even have time to write.